The Second Man

Sometimes I feel more alone when I'm with people than I do when I'm actually alone. I think this is mostly due to the fact that none of us understand each other. Is that terribly pessimistic of me? I do not believe that anyone has or ever will fully communicate their ideas to another person. That in and of itself was a sobering realization to come to, but now when I'm with other people, simultaneously misunderstanding and being misunderstood, that thought surfaces, and I feel a terrible loneliness take over me. Consequently, I spend a lot of time doing solitary activities, and I enjoy "being alone," as it's called, because that's when I'm the least lonely. 

I understands me. Where my thoughts are lost in translation to the rest of the world, I can decipher them. I is the only person I know that can do that. That how I feel sometimes, like I'm two people. The first person, my physical being (my outward appearance to the world, the symmetry of my face or the overly enthusiastic and cliche phrases I use while making small talk) is quick to respond and is the person that does all of the communicating. The second person, "The Second Man" as I like to think of him, is my inner self. Some might refer to it as my soul or my spirit. I personally like to think of as Me trapped inside my body in the form of my brain. That second person is the one that is never understood. That Me can only communicate with other people vicariously through my outward being, and like playing whisper down the lane, the exact content of the message is never quite transfered.

It would be romantic to think that there is one person that can connect with that second Me, and that that person is "My One True Love," but I'm not sure I'm a romantic. Some people think that there is only one "being" that can understand the second person in all of us and that that being has jurisdiction over all the intricacies of their life, but I'm not particularly fond of that idea either. Perhaps the second person is really just a built in companion, someone to really understand what the first person is trying to communicate so that we're never really alone at all.