Sisters

Today I thought of Sarah's
day-of-the-week underpants.
How she liked to show them off,
proud to know which day it was
and proud of the fact
that she didn't have to remember
which day it was
because it was printed on her underpants.

Today I thought of the way
that Jenna did my hair
on the first day of 7th grade.
She gave me a scarf to borrow
and pulled it through my belt loops,
paired it with a blue shirt
(also hers)
and fixed my hair
in a smooth swoop
off to the side,
how I caught my reflection in the
framed wall hangings
and the glass doors that day.
I thought I was the most beautiful 7th grader
maybe ever.

Today I thought of Mom
and how I cried for a long time --
over days and months
and maybe several hours all at once
on one occasion,
sobbing about the absence of love
even though she was
holding me,
"Becky-pie,"
how what I didn't think I could feel then
is what I remember now.

Today I thought of all the times
Sarah asked me,
"Hey Becca,
wanna sleep in my bed tonight?"
how I said no most of the time,
because she had cold feet.
How, when I did agree,
she'd talk until it probably
wasn't worth it anymore
to fall asleep,
And how I wouldn't admit she was brilliant
until I missed her more
than I wanted to be the one that was brilliant.

And I miss the way she wore
day-of-the-week underwear.